7 harmful advice how to raise a real loser
There are no parents who would like their child to grow insecure, forever losing and blaming the whole world for their bad luck. In general, a loser. But psychologists claim that the losers are not only not without the help of the family, but with her direct participation. It turns out that parents bring up a loser and do not even realize themselves in this? Psychologist Yana Filimonova explains how this happens.
Luzer is a person incapable of achievement. To develop this quality in a child, it is necessary to regularly and competently depreciate its success. It is also desirable to deprive him of emotional stability, create unrealistic expectations and ensure social isolation. In order for you to get it for sure, we suggest using our advice.
Frequent and excessive praise is an effective means of depreciation, so use it boldly. Do not think about whether your enthusiasm is in proportion to the efforts of the child, praise without embarrassment. The fifth grader painted a crooked tree and a shapeless animal under it? He writes pictures worthy of Savrasov. An incoherent composition with grammatical errors, which the seventh-grader has developed in half an hour? Great, he's almost Leo Tolstoy. Over time, your son or daughter will need more and more praise to feel themselves on top, and work capacity, on the contrary, will begin to fall.
2. Tell friends, relatives, and educators that your child is a genius
If they do not show the proper enthusiasm, it may be worth revising their relationship with such people: they are clearly not inclined to help you in raising a real loser. However, one can benefit from this. Pay attention to the child's unfairness to people: "Aunt Dasha is just jealous, her son does not write such works!". "The teacher is stupid, does not understand how talented you are with us."
This will provide the proper contrast between the enthusiasm of parents and a cool reception in the "big world".
Eternal resentment and claims to others with complete reluctance to strain - one of the signs of a real failure. You are on your way to success
3. As often as possible compare
We believe that as a parent who thinks about bringing up a full-fledged loser, you do not miss the opportunity to compare the child with brothers and sisters, classmates, children of his acquaintances. But this is not enough. Comparisons of this kind in children very quickly develops tolerance - especially since school teachers use a similar method.
Compare the daughter or son with them yourself. "You used to get such tasks easily! What happened to you?"; "Last year you drew much better, and now you can not even draw a line!".
To competently reduce the child's achievements to zero, remember the abandoned hobbies and abilities that are not getting development. If the child brought you a beautifully written essay, take a breath: "Yes, not bad. And on the guitar, you completely stopped playing. "
4. Before any undertaking, create a premonition of imminent failure
This can be done with the help of endless anxious questions, doubts about the future success and, of course, the prediction of the disaster: "Have you learned all the moves in the dance? Exactly the last bunch did not forget? Oh, I do not know how you'll perform tomorrow. At the rehearsal, all mixed up! I feel that shame awaits us. "
A sign of progress will be the child's refusal of any initiative, competition and competition. Congratulations, he's almost finished loser.
5. Do not forget to express doubts about his social skills
A son with burning eyes tells you a story told to him by a friend? Snort: "Let your Egor lie, it does not happen. And you're happy to hang your ears. "
Report that you saw the best girlfriend of your daughter, who whispered to another girl
"Did not they discuss you?" Still giggling so unpleasantly. It seems to me that this Olya is not your friend. " When a child has lost friends in a natural way, ask with tragic: "Why do not you make friends with anyone? All the time alone. "
6. Do not let the child feel competent and capable of success
This is important in the education of a loser. After any achievement, never let him enjoy the victory. Raise the bar above, demand more. Remind me of what he has not done yet. For example: "Winning a chess tournament is, of course, great. What about your report on geography? Alice Stepanovna does not care who you put the mate on. "
7. Prepare the ground for future emotional isolation
Tell the child that no one will love him the way Mom and Dad do. Other children envy him secretly. Friends are unreliable: today do not spill water, and tomorrow will betray. Do not forget to remind the teenager that girls (guys) can not be trusted - they are deceitful, self-serving, use and leave for others. So your child will finally forget how to trust people, but will forever be attached to you. Congratulations! You have reached the goal. Now he is a real loser.
Following all of the above tips, you will bring up a real loser. And we wish you NOT to follow such advice, but to do the opposite on the contrary. So you are from the loser educate the leader.