Emotional Parental Burnout
Often parents themselves do not understand why a child suddenly starts to irritate and anger them. They break down and scream at the children, and then ask questions to psychologists how to avoid it. And, despite the fact that most parents realize that such actions are erroneous, the situation can be repeated again and again. And the smaller the child, the more serious the consequences for his emotional health. After all, small children perceive the negative emotions of the parent as "Mom (or Dad) does not like me."
Causes of emotional burnout
Raising a child is hard work, to which often young moms and dads are unprepared. The familiar way of life of a family with the appearance of a child changes significantly. Sleepless nights, constant anxiety for the health of the baby, fear of doing something wrong, difficulties in adapting to their new social roles and, of course, lack of free time - all this accompanies the life of young parents during the first months of the child's life. In many families, this list is also supplemented by financial difficulties, lack of assistance from relatives, unsolved housing issues and so on.
Naturally, all these factors directly affect the emotional state of parents, which under their influence is gradually broken, which ultimately leads to nervous breakdown, depression and overwork.
Many people think that women are only burned emotionally, but this is not so. This ailment is also manifested in fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, but it actually occurs in mothers more often.
Symptoms and stages of emotional burnout
Diagnosis of this ailment is possible by changes in the behavior of a person. Symptoms of emotional burnout include: constant fatigue, unwillingness to do something or doing the usual actions on the machine, tearfulness, apathy, indifference and indifference to one's own child or vice versa irritability and causeless aggression, loss of interest in communication with family, relatives, friends, state constant anxiety and depression.
There are three stages of the syndrome.
The first stage is called the "aging stage". It is characterized by a condition when the parent feels that it is hard for him, but he tries to take himself in hand with the latest strength.
Man still keeps afloat, but at the same time he often notices his own irritability and begins to blame himself for not coping with his parental role. Constant thoughts "I'm a bad mother / bad father", "I can not do anything", "I can not cope with the upbringing of the child" lead to irritation and aggression towards myself, the child, people close to me.
Accordingly, the parent falls self-esteem, there is a constant anxiety, which further exacerbates nervous exhaustion and affects the emotional state of the child. Children, feeling the emotional instability of parents, begin to be capricious and behave worse, which leads to even more irritation of the parent.
The second stage. Ее также называют «стадией не-выдерживания», имеет следующие симптомы: родитель понимает, что он больше не в силах выдерживать эмоциональную нагрузку, ему хочется все бросить, разорвать замкнутый круг, избавиться от этого давящего состояния.
The third stage. At this stage, serious deformations of a personal nature usually begin. The psychic of a person with the syndrome of emotional burnout at the stage of deformation includes special protection, and the parent begins to blame for the situation created by his own child, and at the same time, all those around him. As a consequence there is aggression and hatred towards the child, and the parent instead of loving and supporting his child begins to over-control and humiliate him. To help the parent, who is in the third stage of emotional burnout, is the most difficult.
How to overcome the syndrome of emotional burnout: 8 recommendations of specialists
If you notice symptoms of emotional burnout in yourself or your family, immediately start work on getting rid of this ailment until it has passed into the most serious stage.
1. Start more relaxing
The organism needs a good rest. Take a day off or a vacation, and take a rest, take time to yourself, tackle what you have long wanted to do. During a short rest, the body will regain strength, and soon you will return to your usual affairs with a completely different mood.
2. Learn how to ask for help
Ask relatives to help you with the child, take off at least part of the daily workload. Ask to give you any feasible help: to do household chores, to lend money. This is especially true if you are the only parent in the family.
3. Accept faults in yourself and other people
Accept the fact that all people are different, and no one is perfect. Begin to treat yourself more leniently, accept yourself as such (what) what (what) you are.
4. Postpone secondary matters
Learn to drop "ballast": forget the minor matters that you were going to remake, put them aside, think about yourself, because the exhausted parent will not be able to fully cope with his parental responsibilities.
5. Get enough sleep
Provide yourself a stable eight to nine hour sleep. To avoid exhaustion of the body, you should get enough sleep at least several times a week. It will be good if you learn to stay up until midnight and get up no later than seven or eight in the morning. To maintain health, doctors recommend this kind of schedule.
6. Look for an internal resource
Use all possible resources to help you improve your emotional state. It can be a hobby, massage sessions, going to a movie or a restaurant, going out of town, meeting friends.
7. Rid yourself of guilt for your own pleasures
If you feel guilty for doing something for yourself: bought a new dress instead of another toy for the child, left the kid with the grandmother, and they went to have fun with friends, do not blame yourself. Remember that children are sensitive to the emotional state of their parents, and if you feel happy, happy, rested, then your children will feel the same spiritual ascent.
However, remember that going to the other extreme and doing only yourself is a bad decision. Try to follow the balance of what you do for yourself and what for the child.
8. Regularly eat and walk in the fresh air
Walking for 40 minutes a day, even in the city, can significantly improve your emotional state.
Treatment of the third stage of emotional burnout is possible only under the supervision of specialists: neuropathologists and psychologists. If you notice a critical stage in yourself or your loved ones, ask for professional help right away, since it is impossible to cope with it alone using methods that work in the first and second stages.
With the symptoms of emotional burnout, in no case should you try to stabilize your condition with any stimulant products. Tea, coffee and alcohol not only will not relieve you of fatigue, but will also cause even greater harm to the already nervous nervous system. The systematic use of alcohol acts on the body as a depressant, which will further exacerbate the instability of the emotional state.