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Should I be angry with the child?

Should I be angry with the child?

Sooner or later, all parents have a moment of anger at their child, when you want to scream, to violate it. Let's look at this in more detail.

First, there is "Fair" anger at the child. It comes about when he hurt us, made us worry, did something that did not quite coincide with our idea of ​​how it should be. In this case, our strong reaction will allow the child to understand that something is "not right", that you really do not like what is happening. This child can take this strong and emotional information into account, especially if you explain your feelings. He can correct himself, understand that he really was not right, and that every time he does this, my mother will be angry. Then your anger is "useful", especially if its form is adequate to what happened, which, unfortunately, is not always easy to accomplish.

Secondly, there are "Unfair" anger. This is when we "tear off anger" on him as on the most unrequited being, and it was meant for someone else, for example, his father or the saleswoman of the meat department. We do not allow ourselves to express anger to more "dangerous" figures for us - and it goes to our children. What is most sad, we do not always have time to realize this, confident that they got "for work". Unjust punishment often causes childish offense, which can be remembered for decades.
But if we are not ideal parents, then we can sometimes accidentally "break". If this happens, it is important, whenever you understand it, to ask forgiveness from the child for what happened. Tell him that this anger was not meant for him. With a guarantee approaching one hundred percent, he will forgive you, because your request for forgiveness will be a signal to him that he is respected and loved. And also about the fact that everyone can make mistakes. Hearing your "forgive me," he will also learn to analyze and admit his mistakes, repent and ask for forgiveness. And this is a very important skill for life.

Well, in conclusion, I would like to note that the experience of psychological work shows that if you allow yourself to express your anger immediately, in the situation that caused it, then there is not much anger at all. Expressed anger, not burdened with guilt and shame, comes out of the person and gives way to other feelings.

Be kind and sympathetic!

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