Why a break from children is a bad idea
Even the most well-bred children are unbearable, and all of us from time to time just want to hide somewhere, just not to hear their cry. Moreover, there is always a reason to leave - from work, to going to the manicure salon. But if you tear out of the house like a prison, and motherhood for you is hard work without days off, it's worth considering whether you are doing everything right.
No sooner had you become a parent, as others hasten to advise you more often "to have a rest from the child". "Resting" is recommended to treat any problem that arose with the mother. Is it sad to walk with a stroller? We must rest from the children. Are you tired of sitting at home? We must rest from the children. Was romance gone from a relationship with her husband? Yeah ... then again involved children. I know for certain that resting from children is not an option at all, and I have five reasons for this.
1. Rest from children is an attempt to jump into a departed tram
Most cases of "rest from children" - a jerk to the state in which you have not had children yet. I want to go into all serious, lose the burden of responsibility. In addition, the occasion is beautiful - my grandmother agrees to sit 20 minutes with the baby. Aha! I'll just have time to light up in the club and finish everything with a crown dance on the bar.
Of course, fun does not work.
Instead of furious annealing in a night-time institution, you can watch the grim aunt with a conversation about the new skills of children, including collecting the pyramid: "And my ..."
You have changed, everything, the train has left. You have other interests, and some dissatisfaction you for some reason mixed up with longing for energetic dances. Maybe you need understanding, affection and a plaid more than in a rock concert. It's a pity that it shows up after you've lost your face in a salad.
2. You sign that relations with individual family members do not suit you
I'm serious: what is it like to hear a child that your mother is tired of you. It is so unbearable that you urgently need to escape somewhere. What do you need to think about after all this? Or another picture. I'll take it and tell my husband: "Dear, I want to rest from you. You always melteshsh before your eyes, slam the door of the refrigerator ... Noisy, uncomfortable, distracting. " In its place, I would immediately give the needy and rest, and the division of property.
How to keep love after the birth of a child
Escape it is great to arrange from prison, and the house should not be a prison. Here we must learn to negotiate or establish an order in which no one from the household needs to rest from anyone and flee to the expedition to the Chukchi coasts.
3. Locking in the bathroom or manicure salon does not bring a curative effect
There are suspicions that if a woman is bored with children, she will become bored in the Roman sauna, and at a football match, and, surprisingly, in the Museum of Soil Science. There is a cliche that rest from children is associated with caring for themselves. A trip to the manicure salon for an hour and a half, if it is furnished as a "rest from children" will bring some disappointment. For an hour and a half you are sitting, looking at your fingernails and a nail file, thinking: "Well, thank God!". And then you come back to the starting position with a feeling of some dissatisfaction and thought: "Next time I'll take a pedicure, an epilation and a face mask. For a good-natured person. "
4. Children from you wean
I somehow saw the return of a frequently resting mother to the playground for a three-year-old daughter. She was walking with the nurse and at the sight of her mother she began to shout: "No, no, I do not want to see you! I want with a nanny! ". It would seem, a simple thing: children are attached to the one with whom they spend most of their time. To who responds to their requests and meets the needs.
The biggest temptation is to escape precisely at those moments when the child is unbearable when he clings to the parent himself
Maybe he has an age crisis, maybe stress, maybe right now he is asking for help with such stupid, but accessible ways. And we, instead of helping a man, to let know that we are near and he can count on us, we make a weary face: "Aunt Lyuba is staying with you! Well, give it all, bye! "
5. Leaving the problem, you do not contribute to its solution
If it's hard for you with the children, it's a good reason to sit down and think about how you can remedy the situation. Someone as a result buys a trampoline in the nursery, someone comes to psychotherapy on Skype, someone goes to family spontaneous drawing and paints their demons with a brush. If you are suffering from maternity, the chance to catch your breath for a few hours will not change the situation. I know, I tried.
Parenthood is a path that should not only be tolerated, but pleasant, both for you and your children
It seems that it's time to stop popping this "rest from children" everywhere. Okay, I have a need for privacy. But what does the children have to do with it? I'm looking for ways, I'm negotiating with my husband, I teach everyone to think that now my mother is very busy, I invite some other children to visit, so everyone is busy ... In general, I take some steps to rebuild my day. To not need rest from your loved ones, so that all the sheep were full, and the wolves did not spoil the wallpaper.