The generation of women with distorted values ...
Have you ever wondered why almost every one of us is so hard to be with children all the time? Why are we being dragged out of the house? Why for the sake of going out, we are ready to give our children to other people for upbringing, to people we do not know? Why are we more concerned about fashion and gossip than pedagogy and healthy eating? Why does not the family occupy the main place in our life? Why our future and self-realization, our desires are more important than the future of our children?
Now all these questions are from the rhetorical ...
Мы не умеем быть счастливыми матерями, женами, хозяйками, женщинами… Мы не видим смысла в том, чтобы посвящать, как можно больше времени детям, чтобы печь печенье каждый день, чтобы носить юбки и платья, чтобы гладить мужу рубашки, думая о его жизненной цели… Мы не видим в этом ценности, важности. Семья, материнство, преданность, жертвенность, женственность… Все обесценилось. Все потеряло смысл.
Why did it happen?
Why do we rush to work, throwing a child in a half or two years at some strange woman in kindergarten? She will not love him. She will treat him like a socle-maker with a socle at an electric lamp factory. For her it's a conveyor. She will not even try to see the person in this child. She will press on him, demanding to be like everyone, because she has such 25 and in another way with them it is impossible.
Once upon a time, 30 years ago our mother also gave us to a kindergarten. The same aunt. A little strange. But there's nothing to do. We must go to work. Only practically each of us was then about a year old. And we grew and developed not at home almost all this time ... And more precisely, 21 year - 5 years of kindergarten, 11 years of school and 5 years of university.
All this time we were at home almost only in the evenings and sometimes on the weekends. We were always in a hurry somewhere. We had business - matinees, classes, lessons, control, tutors, exams, couples, coursework, diploma, work, courses ...
We were told - learn, or you'll be a housewife!
And it sounded so menacing that I really wanted to grit my teeth with the granite of science. After all, the main thing is a red diploma, good work and a mind-blowing career. Well, or at least just get somewhere to work, because you have to provide for yourself.
How often did we get together at the dinner table with the whole family? Only on holidays. How often did mom meet us from school? Usually we ourselves came home and warmed ourselves a dinner or stayed in the prolonged. And in the evening, my mother was tired and embittered by the endless troubles at work came home. She did not want to talk or eat. She asked about grades (if she does not forget), checked the lessons in passing and sent everyone to sleep.
Our parents did not know us ...
They did not know anything about our inner world, about our dreams and aspirations. They reacted only to bad things, because they did not have time to react to good things.
We did not know them either. We could not find them, because we did not have time for long intimate conversations, for summer vacation with tents near the river, for joint games or reading, for a family trip to the theater or park on the weekends ...
And so we grew ... So we cultivated in ourselves some ideas and ideas about the future, about life, about life goals and ideas. And in our minds, the place for the family was given very little. Just exactly the same as we saw in our families. After all, to long tinker with the child, play with it, you need to love to do it.
To constantly bake cookies every day and cook a lot of varied food, you need to love to do it. To spend time at home - decorate it, clean, improve, create a cozy atmosphere, you need to love to do it.
To want to live goals and ideas of her husband, worry about him and his future, you need ... to love your husband, and not just yourself next to him.
Mom is the main Teacher in life.
All this is instilled by my daughter's mother. She is her first and most important teacher. It points to life guidelines. She teaches to love ... her female mission. She explains the importance of being a wife and mother. It teaches ... to love.
And if the daughter practically did not see her mother, and if she saw, then not at all inspiring for family happiness, then how can she find it herself ?!
We were doomed to lose our purity and love, because we were taught only how to make a career. We were taught that the word "success" matters only outside the home, only somewhere in the state walls.
And then we quietly weep over the ruined marriage (which already counts?), Over the alienation of children and some strange feeling that someone once deceived us.
But there is always a way!
The way out is to learn. Learn to be a mother, wife, mistress, woman. Slowly, little by little ... Learn to see everything with different eyes. Women's, kind, loving ...
Learning to love. Learning to think not about work most of the day, but about your family. Learn to appreciate the family, husband, children. Serve them, help them to become better, blossom as flower buds, warmed by our love.
Нам нужно учиться улыбаться детям и мужу, обнимать их чаще. Нам нужно смотреть глубже и понять, что мы не просто растим человека, мы формируем его внутренний мир, его мировоззрение, его жизненные установки. Многое из того, что он получит в детстве, будет следовать за ним всю его жизнь. И нам нужно сделать блестящую карьеру матери и жены.
And if we do not even try to go through this career ladder, disappointment will be an integral part of our old age. Because missed opportunities and rejected responsibilities give very bitter fruits in the future.
And it is important to remember that everything will bear fruit in due time. What will they be like? Much depends on us. From our life vector, from the values that we carry to this world ... To the world of our family.